He Didn't Show Up

The first holidays after someone you love has died can be excruciating.

Yesterday, we were sitting at my mother’s table. It was obvious that my father was not there. Without much thought, I said, “I miss him!” My mother said, “I do, too!” Then this thought of Thanksgiving crossed my mind, but I did not say it: “I miss him, and I’m thankful I do.”

One of the greatest things for which I am most grateful this holiday season is that I had a father, when after his death, I miss! He wasn’t at the table, and I missed him.

How tragic it would be to have lived and loved someone for almost 60 years and not miss them when they died. I can write a long list of things I miss about Daddy, but the one thing I miss the most is what he always did best: He showed up. He was there.

Yesterday he didn’t show up, but he was there. For that, I am thankful.